Before you start, try to find a time of day when you know you will not be disturbed and try to establish a routine so that you allow yourself relaxation time every day.  Don’t panic if you miss a day for some reason, but try to stick to your routine as well as you can.  You should be aiming to do 15 minutes of relaxation every day, or at least most days.

Not all the techniques below will suit you.  Some people, for example, feel instinctively uncomfortable about using an approach like meditation.  What is important is that you find a relaxation strategy that works for you.  Once you have done that, and are able to make the strategy a regular part of your life you will begin to experience the enormous benefits that routine relaxation can bring.
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1. Focused Breathing

• Find somewhere where you won’t be disturbed and can sit comfortably.
• Take off shoes and loosen tight clothing.
• Breath in to a slow count of 4, hold the breath for a few seconds, and then breathe out to a slow count of 6.
• Focus on your out-breath and make sure that you really empty your lungs as you breathe out.
• Notice how your breathing begins to slow down and how you begin to breathe from your tummy as your breathing becomes deeper.
• Notice also how your whole body begins to relax as your breathing changes.
• As you breathe out imagine that you are literally exhaling the stress from your body. It may help to say a soothing word (like ‘calm’ or ‘peace’) in your head as you breathe out.
• Continue breathing like this for a number of minutes until you feel yourself becoming calmer.
• Take a few moments to ‘re-enter’ normal life when you have finished the exercise.
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2. Muscle Relaxation

• Find somewhere where you won’t be disturbed and can sit comfortably.
• Take off uncomfortable shoes, loosen tight clothing.
• Lower arms - Make a tight fist with each hand and feel the tension around the knuckles and up the forearm.  Hold for 5 seconds and then relax for 20 seconds letting your arms sink down on the arms of the chair.  The pattern of tensing for 5 seconds relaxing for 20 should be used for all the remaining exercises.
• Upper arms – Push your elbows into the arm of the chair. Do not tense the lower arms - leave them loose but feel the tension in your upper arms. Tense for 5 seconds then relax.
• Face – Raise your eyebrows as far as possible. Hold the tension in your forehead then relax, feeling your skin become smoother.  Screw up your eyes and wrinkle your nose.  Feel the tension in your cheeks and around your eyes, hold then relax.  Bite your teeth together and pull back the corners of your mouth.  Hold then relax.
• Neck – Push your chin down towards your chest, but don’t let it touch.  Tense the neck then relax.
• Chest, shoulders, back – Push your shoulders back into the chair and feel the tension in your chest, shoulders and upper back.  Tense and then relax letting the shoulders drop.
• Stomach – Pull your stomach muscles in, holding your breath while you tense.  Then relax.
• Leg – Straighten your right leg (left if you are left handed), by lifting it off the ground and point your big toe inwards whilst stretching the foot.  Feel the tension all down your leg, then relax letting the leg sink to the floor.  Repeat with the other leg.
• Stop if anything causes you pain.  Do not tense any muscle group that you know is damaged in some way.
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3. Positive Visualisation

• Find somewhere where you won’t be disturbed and can sit comfortably.
• Take off uncomfortable shoes, loosen tight clothing.
• Picture in your mind a place that you know and find calming and soothing.  It might be a part of the countryside that you love or a favourite garden.  It could be somewhere where you have been on holiday.  What is important is that you associate the place with a feeling of peace and wellbeing.
• Recreate the place that you have chosen in your mind’s eye with as much detail as possible.
• Try to include in your image information from all your senses, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the feelings of the sun’s warmth etc. etc.
• Allow yourself to stay with the image and feel the stress and tension drain out of you. Start with just a few minutes and build up to 15 or 20 minute sessions of visualisation.
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4. Meditation

• Find somewhere where you won’t be disturbed and can sit comfortably.
• Take off uncomfortable shoes, loosen tight clothing.
• Close your eyes and slow your breathing using the technique in the breathing exercise above.
• Focus all your attention on your breathing and notice the movement of your abdomen in and out.
• Clear your mind of all other thoughts, feelings and sensations.  If you feel your attention wandering gently bring it back to your breathing.
• When your breathing has slowed focus your thought on a single soothing word (for example ‘calm’ or ‘peace’) and begin to say it in your head while you breathe.
• Draw out the pronunciation of the word so, for example, the word ‘calm’ becomes ‘c-a-a-a-l-l-l-l-m-m-m’.  Repeating the word will help you to concentrate.
• If other thoughts come into your mind don’t worry about it, but gently bring yourself back to your word.
• Build up the time that you meditate until a session lasts about 20 minutes at a time.
• An alternative way of meditating is to breathe in the manner described but to focus your attention on a single, static object that you find particularly beautiful (it could be a plant, a picture or sculpture, a piece of jewellery - literally anything).  Focus on the object in the same way that you focus on a word, excluding all other thoughts.
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5. Exercise & Walking

Taking physical exercise may seem to have little to do with relaxation. However, exercise enables us to burn off the hormones released in stress and promotes feel-good chemicals in the brain like serotonin which give us a sense of wellbeing and contentedness. Exercise also makes it easier to sleep.

Exercise

• Ease yourself gently into exercise if you are not used to it.  A little a day, building up gradually is the best way to develop a good exercise regime.
• Choose a form of exercise that you find easy to do.
• Aim for an easily achieved programme, with an ultimate goal of three 20 minute sessions per week.
• Choose a form of exercise that is not weather dependent – going to the gym is often the easiest way to achieve this but you could even do an online exercise video at home in your living room.
• Make sure that you stick at your exercise programme (although don’t be hard on yourself for occasional lapses).
• Try to find someone to exercise with. It is easier to stick to a regime if you have a partner.
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Walking
Walking is an excellent form of exercise and can have other calming benefits as well.  If your walk takes you through a place you like and find calming you will get the benefit of the place as well as the exercise.  It can also be richly relaxing to allow yourself to just stroll, particularly if you are used to rushing and walking in hurry.  Allow yourself to really enjoy the sensation of taking your time and just ambling along.  Notice the stress drain away.
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6. Yoga, Massage and Complementary Therapies

There is a wide range of alternative exercise or therapy approaches that can be very helpful in promoting relaxation.  Yoga, Thai Chi, massage, Reiki and many other approaches may help you (as well as having the added benefit of being involving a teacher or therapist).  To find out about what it available in your area try a google search or ask about classes or therapies in your local library, gym or health food shop.
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7. Relaxation Recordings

You can get many relaxation recordings and guided relaxations via apps and online.  Typical relaxation recordings include soothing music, birdsong or the sound the sea. Twenty minutes spent listening to a recording in a comfortable, undisturbed space can be a very powerful aid to relaxation.

Source adapted from: Validium